One works in town at a well-paying job. When she comes home she continues to put in long hours working in the barn. The other quit her job soon after they got married and helps around the barn only when necessary
Question:
I am the mother of a farming family. Both of our sons have married in the last two years. Each son manages a separate part of the business. At this point in time it is not possible to split up the business so everyone must work together. The concern I have involves both our daughters-in-law. One works in town at a well-paying job. When she comes home she continues to put in long hours working in the barn. She loves what she does. She comes from a farm background.
Our second son’s wife quit her job soon after they got married and helps around the barn only when necessary. She was raised in the city and has no farming experience. Her lack of drive to help her husband is a concern to my husband and myself and we are not certain how to handle this issue.
Each daughter-in-law receives a set salary per month. They both get the same amount.
Reply:
I am assuming you have an expectation that wives should work in the barn. You are correct in attempting to address the disparity between the two daughters-in-law before it gets too far out of hand. It sounds like the second son is not concerned about his wife's lack of interest in the farm.
The most direct way to circumvent problems is to establish an hourly pay schedule instead of salary. Have each daughter-in-law record their hours. Coming up with an hourly rate may be challenging. Typically, farmers shy away from paying high wages. In your case it would be advantageous to set up a schedule that is at the higher end of what individuals would make if they were working on a farm. By doing this you allow each young woman to feel she is being remunerated fairly for every hour put in. The one who puts in the long hours should be less prone to feel she is being taken for granted. You could also give each of the daughters-in-law the option to leave a certain percentage of their salary in the business as a loan that would be paid to them plus interest when they and your sons take over the business.
The issue of fairness and equality can cause huge problems. A solution is necessary before things get too far out of hand. Paying a few extra dollars in wages might be a very small sacrifice for the business in order to avoid larger problems later.